Ahh the Academy Awards, the most awardy of all the awards. Ellen Degeneres hosted and hopefully will always host. She ordered pizza for the celebrities and took the best selfie of all time. No, really, it was the most retweeted tweet ever and broke Twitter, angering everyone who was watching The Walking Dead.
If only Bradley's arm was longer. Best photo ever. #oscars pic.twitter.com/C9U5NOtGap
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) March 3, 2014
Gravity won some stuff. I cannot even get into this movie, y'all. Sandra Bullock's character was maybe the weakest female lead ever. EV. ER. Anyway. Lupita had a big night but everyone assumed that would happen. I haven't seen 12 Years A Slave yet because the super emotional movies aren't really my thing, but it's on my list now, as well as Dallas Buyers Club. Jordan Catalano forever, y'all.
I was pretty impressed with the red carpet fashion this time around. Not many terrible outfits, and a few magnificent ones!
|Charlize Theron in Dior | Margot Robbie in Saint Laurent by Hedi Slimane | Julia Roberts in Givenchy|
Check out the neckline on Charlize's gown! She had illusion straps, which made this a fantastic piece of art. The bow on Margot's back is so sweet and romantic (not sure about her dark hair, though), and Julia's delicate lace and peplum adds pretty details that take her dress up a notch. Notice none of these dresses has anything shiny added to it, and yet they all really stand out.
|Glenn Close in Zac Posen | Anne Hathaway in Gucci | Anna Kendrick in J. Mendel|
Black doesn't work on everyone, and black gowns that take a lot of creative liberties should be saved for other awards shows, in my opinion. Glenn looks like a Disney villain, and I generally think women with silver hair look better in slate blues and pinks. Anne's dress isn't awful, but the warrior breastplate look is better for The Grammys or even The Golden Globes.
I feel torn on Anna's dress because the drape effect is really beautiful on the top, but waist down it's confusing. Why the red starburst beaded things? Why the slit? The back is actually gorgeous, and I wish it had stayed simple on the front to give the back the attention it deserves.
|Portia de Rossi in Naeem Khan | Naomi Watts in Calvin Klein and Bulgari|
|Kristen Bell in Cavalli, Piaget, Brian Atwood Ferragamo | Jenna Dewan-Tatum in Reem Acra | Kate Hudson in Versace|
Silver isn't a metallic that you often see anymore, given that gold and bronze are much bolder and showstopping. But all of these dresses prove that when done right, silver can be just as glamorous. My favorite is Kristen's with the contrasting textures and perfectly fitting bustier. Jenna's is so airy -- she tweeted that she felt like a fairy! And Kate's looks like molten silver, painted onto her and gliding toward the carpet.
|Cate Blanchett in Giorgio Armani | Sarah Paulson Elie Saab | Sally Hawkins in Valentino|
|Lupita Nyong'o in Prada | Amy Adams in Gucci | Sandra Bullock in Alexander McQueen | Liza Minnelli in not a bra|
Amy picked out her own dress, and I think it's elegant, understated and works great for her. Sandra gave classic Hollywood glam a twist with her midnight blue number, and Liza...well, we'll give her a break, even though I abhor a pantssuit on a lady at an awards show. My one major gripe is the absence of a bra. A statement necklace wouldn't have killed her either. And, um, the blue streak in her hair? I mean, I guess she can do whatever she wants. I'm gonna let it go. Obviously she is the worst dressed, but I feel like maybe she was trying to get on that list.
|Olivia Wilde in Valentino | Kerry Washington in Jason Wu | Elsa Pataky in Elie Saab|
Olivia is just the best. Not Pope. Wilde. She has been decked out in grace and elegance for every awards show this season. Two months away from delivering, she's not trying to make a spectacle of her bump, but she's not trying to hide it either. The neckline is so unexpected, and the back pulls the dress together so she's not head-to-toe in black.
I usually hate everything Kerry wears, but this wasn't the worst. This was the worst:
I really like the color, and the draping is a nice way to deal with her bump on the red carpet. I mean, from the side it looked like she was wearing a curtain, but she's doing better than usual. Her styling -- hair and lip color -- are perfect for her and I hope to see more of this.
This Elsa chick, aka the sister-in-law Miley will never have who gives all of us Single Ladies hope by being 37 and having twins with a hottie patottie, is absolutely making a spectacle of her bump. A drop waist on a preggers dress? C'mon. Can't blame her though. Git it girl.
|Matthew McConaughey in Dolce&Gabbana | Jared Leto in Saint Laurent | Will Smith in Berluti | Pharrell Williams in torts|
But Pharrell...Pharrell...ugh I know everyone is calling these "fancy shorts" but can we call them what they are? They're torts -- tuxedo shorts. And you've never heard of them because they're not a thing. The hat is enough. I wish he would just stick to that. (And it came in handy for collecting pizza money later on!)
Great way to wrap up awards season! Someone even Egotted!