Ugh. Twentysomethings. I have yoga, can't participate, sorry.
I have yet to go on a Tinder date, and it's probably because of my lousy attitude. But I'd like to think it's because all guys on Tinder are lame. I'm not winning this argument, am I?
There's one Tinder chat that pretty much sums it all up for me. Remember the guy who I check into OKCupid sometimes for? Just to check to see if we've made any progress on scheduling our date? That we've been working on since November?
That's Brad. Turns out he's on Tinder too.
Did I miss him actually asking me out? I was pretty sure I said yes weeks ago...but regardless, here we were, talking again. Tinder is all about the instant messaging, so I was hoping this way would be quicker for making a date.
Back up -- I was verbalizing all this to Sassy Marmalade and she wrote all the good stuff. You'll know it's me writing when you sense the lousy attitude.
Classy swimsuit? Oh yeah, I added a photo of me wakeboarding to look sporty. I've only done it twice and I complained about my ankle hurting the whole time.
Will it be a fun wedding? What kind of question is that?!
Ugh, I don't know, y'all, it just seems like a pen pal situation to me. Is this what guys want?
A friend of mine has been practicing the Wygant Method of saying something to the extent of, "I like you, but I'm not looking for a pen pal. My number self-destructs in 24 hours," and she's had some success, landing two dates doing this. I, or rather Sassy, was trying to get that point across to Brad, but I guess it doesn't work with all guys.
So, Brad, it's been nice telling you how my week has been every few days for three months, but as far as you're concerned, my profile just self-destructed.
Call me picky. Tell me I'm doing it all wrong. But this is happening a lot, y'all, and the thirtysomething girls aren't buying it. Dudes, the best thing you can do is ask us out within the first three messages. That is all. Thanks.
Don't forget I'm rubbing elbows with WaPo, Hinge and some other fab dating experts tonight from 7-8:30 at the Georgetown Public Library where we'll be discussing the business of dating in DC! Pretty please come and ask me questions so I can feel like a celebrity for a day. My mom will be there which is going to be extra interesting...
Throw your hands in the ayer if yous a true player (I'm not over it, Lorde),