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Golden Globes 2014 Fashion Roundup: Capped Sleeves, Solids and Vodka

Jan 13, 2014

Last week got crazy busy and I had to let blogging drop off my plate to balance everything. Boo. So first of all, I promise to update y'all this week on how the blogger event with David Wygant went. The short version: Enlightening and Inspiring. Love. Him.

Okay, now. I usually only cover the Emmys (because those awards shows are LONG and I love TV more than movies), but as long as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will be the hosts of the Golden Globes (let's hope forever), I'm pro-Golden Globes going to cover it, too.

(Not entirely "pro-Golden Globes" because of the disgraceful Mindy Kaling snub. On par with the infamous Moulin Rouge Oscars snub a few years ago. Really insecure of Hollywood to diss brilliant creativity just because it will win in every category it's nominated.)

(For the record, if Mindy Kaling had gone, I'm positive she would have been on my best dressed list. But since she didn't, we have Lena Dunham's latest disaster to look forward to.)

Also, everyone was drunker than usual this year, which I'm pretty sure is due to Tina and Amy encouraging it so much. So smart, those ladies are!

Hopefully celebs use Uber because



and


and

Not actually from last night, but picture him in a tux and it was basically the same thing.
We saw lots of capped sleeves and solid, bright colors on the red carpet last night. And inside, lots and lots and lots of drunken acceptance speeches. As always, I don't look at what the various fashion police say about the dresses beforehand, so this is all me, people...save a couple of things from Twitter that I couldn't have avoided overlooking. 

WORST DRESSED WINNER!!! 
Emma Stone in Chanel
Oh my. I mean, Chanel is very much responsible for this. But PLEASE TELL ME what stylist put darling, youthful Emma in this dowdy, heavy, drab garb? I can't even get started on the shape and the beading. And the length of the sleeves. And the skirt. And that slit in the front. And that belly band.

Nancy O'Dell in Marchesa
I always look forward to seeing what Nancy O'Dell wears because, as a little girl, she was our local news anchor in Charleston, and I always thought she was so pretty. I love the color, but that garland neckline needs to go, and this isn't the best execution of capped sleeves.

Aubrey Plaza in Oscar De La Renta
I went back and forth on this one, but I just don't like the color combo. Iris and violet aren't close enough to be complimentary in this case, and they're too close to make an interesting contrast. I would have loved to see the skirt in a green or blue. Plus, her shoes are too matchy matchy, and the bag doesn't go at all.

Hayden Panettiere in Tom Ford
Black and white is so easy to do right, but sadly, this is not working for me at all. I think it would have been okay if that weird flower broach weren't pinned on the top. Throw in the pointy toed shoes, and this is just too reminiscent of a Homecoming dance for me. Except at Homecoming everyone would have made fun of her for forgetting to wash her hair.

Zooey Deschanel in Oscar De La Renta
This makes me sad, because last time I covered an awards show, I gave Zooey my best dressed slot. Now she's got the Chanel/Emma Stone Sabotage thing going on, except the color is so bleh (would you call it oatmeal?) it's barely even noticeable. But her shoes...her shoes...ugh. Those are noticeable. I cannot believe someone matched her shoes to that top. It's like fancy Payless Dyeables. And I hate that I have to point this out, but she has a flower in her side ponytail bun thing, which effectively makes her the chaperone at Hayden's Homecoming dance.

Paula Patton in Stephanie Rolland
I'm pretty sure there's a lot out there about this outfit, so I'll keep it short: No. You can see every flaw (Paula Patton has flaws??) and those stripper shoes are hideous.

Emma Thompson in Lanvin
For the record, after last night's onstage shenanigans, Emma proved she can do whatever she wants. However. I just thought this made her look quite old, with the high collar and shorter hemline. I mean, in the end she's wearing Loubitins and I'm not, but I hope she chooses sassier dresses in the future.

Lena Dunham in Zac Posen
UGH LENA!!! YOU...actually don't look terrible this time. Not the best color, but you know what? It fits. And it's not hideous. And you look kind of cute actually with your little tangerine lips and fitted top. Hate the hair, but this isn't the worst. Hooray!

Kerry Washington in Balenciaga
This is the best thing I've ever seen Kerry in and it's still one of the ugliest looks from last night. David's Shotgun Bridal is what I'm thinking. And can we please put her in a color???

Jessica Lange
Capped sleeves gone bad. Very, very bad. The overall look is too youthful, as in something a grandmother would make for her 5-year-old granddaughter by repurposing the velour fabric off of a 1970s loveseat. The neckline is off and everything is doing nothing for her figure, especially her bust. Too bad, because Jessica is such a beauty.

Jennifer Lawrence in Christian Dior Couture; Ariel in Ship Sail
I didn't think much of this dress, honestly, until I saw it compared to Ariel on Twitter. When you put it that way, then yes, it's not great. And it looks kind of David's Bridal with a couple of belts thrown around it to make it more modern or something. But generally, I think the worst offense is how white it is, which isn't the best look for Jennifer.

Julie Bowen in Carolina Herrera
I just want to cut off the sleeves, that's all. And what kills me is that Julie is so fit that she could actually wear capped sleeves and pull it off, but the way these are sculpted, it just looks odd and makes her look bony. If it had just been sleeveless, I think it would have been a really pretty dress, with contrasting colors and textures  working together nicely.

Julia Roberts in Dolce and Gabbana
I'm sorry but I'm never going to be on board with menswear in women's evening wear. Sharon Stone pulled off the Gap white button down long, long ago, but that was a one time thing and no one can copy it. I cannot for the life of me figure out why Julia is wearing it now under an otherwise lovely dress.

Zoe Saldana in Prabal Gurung
What. The heck. Happened here. Way too many things going on, really confusing hemline, and she's standing like a timid newbie. 

Soooo many bad ones. Here are the ones I liked.

Maria Menounos in BCBG Max Azria
Maria looks hot *pink* in this dress! The color isn't Pepto Bismol-ish, which it totally could have been, and the gold trim makes her look sleek and curvy. These capped sleeves are fitted well and accentuate her arms.

Kate Beckinsale in Zuhair Murad
Looks like liquid metal! I love a fabric that has personality like this one, and it fits her perfectly. Glad to see she didn't wear too much jewelry, which would have competed with the dress.

Lily Rabe in George Hobeika
I don't know who Lily Rabe is but I had to include her because this is such a fun dress! The sheerness makes the capped sleeves work well for the dress, as they're not cutting into her arms but rather blend with her creamy skin. The sparkle is plenty -- no need for major accessories -- but the belt was a lovely finishing touch. I would be spinning around all night if I were wearing this. So pretty.

Laura Dern in Roberto Cavalli
Laura Dern is officially one of those women who looks better with age. I love how slimming this dress is, and the muted colors work well with her whole look because, while the dress is a perfect fit and dazzling, her hair is the real showstopper. The color, fringe and curls are such a good look on her. I hope some of the younger actresses will take note.

Elisabeth Moss in J. Mendel
I tend to hate everything Elisabeth wears, but I'm gonna giver her this one because it looks black but it's not. Look closer and you'll notice red and green hues in really cool geometric designs. I think I would have liked it even more if the skirt was straight down, but I have to say, the slit showcases how light the fabric is, and she gets to show off her shoes. Also, this is another capped sleeved dress that is done right.

Reese Witherspoon in Calvin Klein
I thought this was a great look for Reese. She's a modern Hollywood blonde bombshell, and this dress is smooth and simple, but it stands out in the crowd because of the color and how well it fits her. I love her dark red nails and simple styling that went along with it. Would have liked bigger hair -- she is a Southern girl like me, after all -- but otherwise I thought it was a flawless look.

Margot Robbie in Gucci
If I had a money tree, I would have this dress made in every color. It's such a simple idea, but the elements -- slit, jeweled chain embellishments, neckline -- make it super glam. This creamy color makes her appear naturally tan, and her makeup compliments the look.

Amy Poehler in Stella McCartney
What a cool dress! I think blondes look great in a black statement dress, and even though it's black, I have to say Amy rules the sleek, solid color trend of the evening. The asymmetric top  makes it so interesting, and the skirt hangs perfectly. The bangles are the perfect accessory.

Olivia Wilde in Gucci
If a lady in the Emerald City were preggers, I imagine she'd look like this. It doesn't hurt that Olivia's body is in perfect shape to begin with, but I'm amazed at how the sparkles and form fitting fabric show off her bump in a tasteful and understated way.

Lupita Nyong'o in Ralph Lauren
I think this is okay. I have a feeling it looked way better in person. The red is radiant against her skin and it fits her well, but the long sleeves/cape thing is a bit overpowering for her small frame, not to mention how young she is. I would have liked to see something more dramatic with her hair or some great earrings to keep attention on her face, not drawing down toward the red carpet.

Sandra Bullock in Prabal Gurung
I happened to see some negative comments on this dress as I was pulling pictures, but I have to say, I kind of love it. It fits her well and is an unusual cut that flatters her body. I love the pink peeking out from under the blue on the skirt, and the colors all go together well. Plus, you've never seen anything like this, have you?

Sofia Vergara in Zac Posen
As usual, Sofia hits it out of the ballpark. I love how full the skirt is, and the turquoise necklace is dazzling with the dress. Not my favorite look of the evening, but a crowd pleaser just the same. 

AND THE BEST DRESSED WINNER IS...

Tina Fey in Caroline Herrera
I love this deep merlot color on Tina, and the neckline is low without being overly dramatic, plus the jewel embellishment isn't too heavy or overpowering. But what I really loved about her look is her hair! Loose curls, fluffed out just before she went onstage, I'm guessing. My favorite of her looks for the evening, and my favorite overall look. Besides, if Amy wins something, Tina should win something too. 

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