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The Zombie Apocalypse Is Totally Gonna Happen

Oct 4, 2013

It's been a strange week.

It started with the masterful ending of Breaking Bad, which for me felt like recompense for LOST. (Don't worry, lame people who are just now jumping on the Breaking Bad bandwagon, no spoilers in here.) Since I don't have cable and therefore couldn't host a party with blue cupcakes, I watched it at Duffy's, which briefly changed its name to "Heisenberg Pub," with my friend A who is way cooler than I am.

Shoot...I haven't told y'all about my date last Friday yet. Note to Self: Write blog posts in chronological order dum dum. I will post about that Monday or Tuesday next week, so when you read it, I want you to remember that his Breaking Bad theories were so off and that made me happy. Mine were off too, but I'm terrible at predicting what will happen next when the storytelling is actually good. The guy who was sitting next to us was dead on, which made for excitable tweeting on my part.

The last minute of the series was one of the most satisfying minutes of my life. No major questions left unanswered, every area of concern dealt with. My biggest question before the finale was not about a plot point but how would I feel about the characters when it was all over? The answer was that I was rooting for every one of them (not Todd, Lydia, Jack and the crew -- the main ones: Walt, Jesse, Skyler, Marie and even Flynn). Not rooting for happy endings, mind you, but rooting for each of them to be honest with themselves and move on from those wild two years.

Once it was over, no one knew quite what to do. We hung around with our barmates for about 10 minutes and then, without formal good-byes, the place emptied. There was nothing left to be said. It was a masterpiece. The end.

RIP, Breaking Bad. (Don't click that link if you're not caught up.)


The next day the government shut down. Y'all. THE GOVERNMENT. SHUT. DOWN. 

I get the feeling that most people outside of the Beltway, except for those with government jobs, do not understand what a huge deal this is. I'm not going to get on a soapbox here, but since so many people have been asking me what's it like right now, I'm giving my perspective.
  • I am still working, because my work is considered essential. That's the skinny of it. It's actually more complicated than that, but I'm happy to be receiving a paycheck.
  • Traffic is just as bad. Not all of the NCR (National Capital Region) is employed by the federal government. But I'm guessing that if this goes on much longer, everyone is going to begin feeling it. States are losing millions of dollars a day. Small businesses are suffering, and those who rely on government contracts are already laying off employees. Some large companies are in the same boat. 
  • Furloughed federal employees are not guaranteed retroactive pay. Congress has yet to decide if they'll get paid for this forced time off, so don't be so quick to assume their unemployment is easier than yours. 
  • Freebies abound. Local businesses are being absolutely awesome by offering deals, discounts and freebies to furloughed employees. Anne's daily objective is to get free food. I met her yesterday for a late afternoon snack, and in the middle of my rant about something that was annoying me at work, I noticed she was ethereally smiling at me. "Are you even listening?" I asked, becoming more enraged. "Oh yes," she said singsongingly. "People, man. People," she said, shaking her head, still smiling. It was then that I realized she had checked out of the professional realm. She's a lady of leisure now.
  • If you blame the GOP, the Tea Party, John Boehner, the Democrats, the President or Obamacare, you've fallen into the game and will only add fuel to the apocalyptic inferno. This is politics, people. Everyone has an agenda. Watch five minutes of C-SPAN and you'll see what I mean. The finger pointing and dirt slinging is all part of the show. This is a power struggle at its worst and most embarrassing. I'm proud to be an American, but I'm mortified this is happening.
  • Zombie Apocalypse! That's the second thing I thought when I heard about the shooting at the Capitol yesterday (may have been somewhat influenced by Shaun of the Dead airing on HBO Wednesday night). The first thing was Uprising! The third was I am super impressed an out-of-towner found her way from the White House to the Capitol, while being apprehended by police no less. When you watch the video, you'll see she even got caught in a dreaded circle! Listen, it's no laughing matter. But I worry this is the first of many unsettling things that will happen during the shutdown.    

So if you're wondering what it's like to be in DC right now, the best I can tell you is it's super weird. The air is heavy with anger, frustration, uncertainty and instability. Right now it feels like an event of the likes of Snowmageddon and Hurricane Sandy, but the repercussions, I fear, will be catastrophic.

But for now, most of the furloughed employees are walking around like the children of the corn Stepford wives (Editor's note: I watched that movie the other night and realized my comparison was highly flawed.) in an early-retirement daze. Zombie apocalypse, y'all. See what I mean now?

1 comment:

  1. Just caught up on your last 3 blogs. 1. love the stories of being single again. brings me back to the glory days. live it up girl! 2. thanks for the perspective from DC. I'm active duty military so largely unaffected, I really really feel for the civilian contractors. We're stationed in Germany and yes, this is a very embarrassing situation for our country.