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Thank you all, so much

Aug 26, 2013

After my last post, I received so many Facebook messages, comments, texts, phone calls and emails. Every one of you said exactly the right thing. Thank you for not being too shy to reach out to me.

I'm sorry if I didn't respond to you. I was completely overwhelmed with gratitude and humility. As the messages kept flooding in, with many, many mentions of prayers for me, I felt like I was getting a giant hug from this extensive and amazing support system that I didn't even know I had.

Because I'm a writer I was able to share my pain with you, and at a point on Thursday I felt guilty for being the recipient of so much cherishing. Not everyone gets that, and I don't deserve it any more than anyone else does. I mean, there were people from middle school who were telling me they loved me. Who are you people?!

It just goes to show me that God is on the throne. He has brought me in contact with the best people throughout my life, and He gave us Facebook so we wouldn't be dum dums and not stay in touch. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for loving us so much.

You are all a part of my healing process. Your prayers worked. I no longer want to die. I am so happy to be alive and excited for today and what it may bring. I am still crying a lot when I am alone, but on Thursday night, after turning down at least 15 people who said they were coming over, I finally gave in to Joanna and found out that being with people is the BEST medicine. Friday night my friend Grace brought me actual nutritious food and salted brownies. Saturday Anne and I went to a Redskins game and that is another blog post altogether. Sunday Jamie brought me Baja Fresh, wine, ice cream, melatonin and the latest US Weekly.

This is the way to survive a break-up. Now I know.

To "Anonymous" on my blog -- your words meant more to me than you will ever know. But then again, they were written with so much obvious maybe you do know. Particularly, you mentioned he was rude, which I didn't agree with at first. But then I thought about it, and you're right -- he was RUDE!

Thank you for your insight on his relational issues. I fear you are correct, and I fear more that the people around him will not be frank with him about this. If you are who I think you are, I hope you will have a sit down with him and slap him across the back of his head, because he royally deserves it.

And this line: "Don't wait for him to come back." That's a tough one. But, yes ma'am, I won't.

Hindsight is 20/20, and I have never understood that saying more clearly until now. Grace reminded me that, years ago, I went through a truly terrible, heartbreaking time in my life that involved a boyfriend and some other things. She told me, "You said on your blog that you'd never really known what heartbreak was until this happened, but you and I both know that's not true." And she was so right. It took me four years to really heal from that, but I don't think it will take as long this time.

I am going to be okay, but y'all already knew that.


  1. For every comment, I'm sure there were at least two more people thinking about you (including me). You are in the hearts of your silent readers, too!

    1. I'm sure you're right. :) Thank you for reminding me.

  2. I went to HS with you. You and I didn't really know each other. I love reading your blog though and was so sad to read he was not the unicorn you had hoped for. You deserve a unicorn for sure. He did not treat you right at the end. You will be just fine though and get through this and then look back one day without the sting. Stay strong and have an extra cupcake for me. ;)

    1. Isn't social media amazing? High school was the worst, it would have been nice to have you as a friend. Thank you for reading and your kind words. I will most definitely have a cupcake for you!

  3. Another silet reader here who was so sorry to read your last post. That being said, I love your story and your willingness to share it! We need more people like you. So from one single gal to another, I'm rooting for ya!!

  4. You deserve your unicorn. Don't settle.

    I have a feeling this guy is a serial monogamist... meaning he loves the honeymoon phase and doesn't have the balls to deal when the relationship gets real.

    Sorry, that was blunt and a little rude and I've never met him... but I've met guys like him. They love the dream of forever and the idea of love, but there is always something "not quite right" with every relationship.

    You deserve the man that knows a relationship is hard work and that it won't be perfect every second of every day. And he'll cherish the fact that you are willing to fight with him because you think he's worth it.

    Mourn the passing of this relationship, because you cared for him, but always remember that your unicorn will never let you go... ever.

    1. I feel like I've heard this term before but never understood it. The way you describe a serial monogamist could very well fit his description. That Bruno Mars song, "Treasure," keeps touching something in me...I want someone who TREASURES me. Just thinking I'm "great" is not enough. We all deserve this, men and women alike.

  5. I always say that heartbreak is the absolute worst feeling on the planet; I have a feeling I'm right. It's so difficult to sit there and not analyze every little detail in your head and wonder what you did 'wrong', well believe me - you didn't. In my opinion, the best revenge is to keep smiling, carrying on vibrantly and passionately. Remember to keep your standards high; the right man for you will rise up to meet them. This guy sounds a little co-dependent and wishy washy - I say good riddance and on to the next one. :-)