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My Life According to Britney Spears According to Facebook

Jun 17, 2013

You know how Facebook changes the layout of your page at least once a month? Of course you do! I typically don't take the time to pay much attention to the changes, but something caught my eye today, and that was the "Notes" section that we used to blog in before we realized we could just start a blog. (Or was that just me?) 



My posts were pretty dumb, but this one I thought I'd share, especially since today Britney released her new single, "Ooh La La" (not for a new album, but for the movie Smurfs 2.)

Present-day commentary will be in italics. If you'd like to do your own version, do it in the comments! But please don't start an email chain that will eventually spam me via an obscure family member. However, you may Email My Heart. (Yes, that is an actual Britney Song.)




Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to at least 15 people and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

Pick your Artist:


Are you a male or female?




Truth: I couldn't get through this movie.

Fun Fact: Dido wrote this song.

Describe yourself:




Fun Fact: R. Kelly wrote and produced this track. 

Also, "Outrageous" was supposed to be the first or second single of the album, but Britney pushed for "Me Against the Music" and "Toxic." Smart lady!

How do you feel: 


(Stronger)

"I Wanna Go" would work better here. My abs are never gonna look like hers. 


Fun Fact: "Stronger" plays of of "Baby One More Time," where she sings, "My loneliness is killing me." In "Stronger" Britney tells us, "My loneliness ain't killin' me no more." 


Describe where you currently live:





If I can take some poetic liberty here, I really live in "Gimme More" considering how much clutter has piled up lately. Time for my yearly purge!

Fun Fact: In the video, Britney sprays herself with her then-signature fragrance, Curious, which was my signature fragrance for the next three years. 

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:




This response made sense to me back then. Now that I've been on a gazillion blind dates, "Circus" would be a better fit here because, minus the clowns, that would probably be a fun outing, don't you think? Oh gosh, this is what happens when you're a thirtysomething...  

Fun Fact: "Boys" was co-written and produced by Pharell Williams. 


Also, the song was recently mashed up with Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend." Yessssssss please.

Your favorite form of transportation:


HA! I'm so clever. However, considering my previous choice, I'm surprised I didn't put "Trip to Your Heart." 


Fun Fact: Glee mixed this song with Aerosmith's "Crazy" in the "Britney 2.0" episode -- an homage to their 2001 Super Bowl Halftime performance?





Your best friend is:




Fun Fact: Blink 182 covered "Lucky" but it's really hard to find it. Britney sounds much better singing it, but I think that was kind of the point.

What's the weather like:




"Chaotic" would also be appropriate as of late.


Fun Fact: T-Pain co-wrote and performed on this track.


Favorite time of day:




Fun Fact: Blink 182's video for "All the Small Things" was a parody of the "Sometimes" video. Did Blink 182 secretly have a crush on her?! 

Also, during Britney's "The Onyx Hotel Tour," she told the audience she never liked this song.

If your life were a TV show, what would it be called:



This episode? Taught me the dance. I miss Must-See TV.

What is life to you: ("Me Against the Music")


Glee's Brittany S. Pierce thought she was Britney Spears and sang this song during a gas-induced fantasy at the dentist's office, leaving me wishing my name was Brittany S. and wondering what Britney's breath really smells like. 




Your fear:



Way to stick it to everyone who made fun of you for your "Gimme Me" performance at the 2007 VMAs. In fairness, it wasn't the greatest of comebacks, but this certainly was.


Fun Fact: "Womanizer" was a sequel to "Toxic." 


What is the best advice you have to give:




I had never heard of this song until I went to my very first Britney concert. I felt like a Britney-Fan-Failure when Megan sang along to every word. 


Not-So-Fun Fact: Louis Vuitton sued Jive Records for the use of its logo all over the dashboard of a pink Hummer in this video. I don't see the LV in the video anymore...so I'm guessing part of the settlement was to take it out. Whoopsies!


Thought for the Day:



Fun Fact: This song was co-written by Keri Hilson, who I went to high school with! Keri was somewhat shy and was in Chorus while I was busy laying the groundwork for my superstar journalism career in Newspaper. #fail


How I would like to die:




Well OBVIOUSLY it would now be "Till the World Ends" (full line: "Keep on dancing till the world ends"). 


Fun Fact: "Toxic" earned Britney her first Grammy and is widely considered her best song. It was her 4th Top 10 Single in the United States and was ranked the 4th best song of the decade by a 2009 reader poll in Rolling Stone. (Rolling Stone ranked it No. 44.). 4 realz, y'all.



My soul's present condition:



Fun Fact: Britney wrote this song (not for Toyota, but for her girlfriends). 


My motto: 




I would definitely change my answer to "Piece of Me." I hit my best game of Top Golf whilst singing along to it, and when it ended I knocked over a bucket of golf balls and they rolled onto the ground below us (we were on the second level). I blame it on the song ending, obviously. 


Fun Fact: This song is about Britney being pregnant, although she wrote it two weeks before finding out she was pregnant with Jayden. Creepy! 

2 comments:

  1. Well, Pearce, first of all, you missed out on an AWESOME BOYFRIEND who LOVES boy bands and NKOTB, and is actually GOOOOOOD looking and a GOOOD person. Right now, you're in a relationship, and probably in dire need-WAITING for a ring" so that you can be married within the year (if only dating some guy for UNDER a year). I KNOOOOW that you're waiting for the proposal. KNOW IT. Anyway, good luck with everything, you punk. I KNOW, KNOW KNOW, that I would have been 10x's more fun/loving, ETC than anyone who you've dated. Good luck... (ahem, punk)

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