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Emmys 2012: Someone Is Getting Paid Too Much

Sep 24, 2012

I guess I have to start watching "Homeland" now. It beat "Mad Men," "Game of Thrones," "Downton Abbey," and "Breaking Bad" for Best Drama. BREAKING BAD?!?!?!?!

My solace in this is that Maggie Smith won Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series, because the Dowager Countess of Grantham might be the best character on TV.

"What is a week end?"

Also, "The Amazing Race" is apparently better than "Project Runway." I'm just not understanding.

Therefore, let's talk fashion to get our minds off of this craziness.

Looks I Loved:

1) Julia Louis Dreyfus in Vera Wang

The cut and draping are understated, elegant, age appropriate (that's key).

 2) Julianne Hough in Georges Hobeika Couture

One of my favorite colors, and what a nice homage to summer, don't you think? Love the petal detailing on the bottom of the dress.

3) Michelle Dockery in Louis Vuitton

If anyone knows how difficult it is to make pale skin work, it's me. Michelle is wearing the perfect colors to make her skin look creamy instead of washed out. The slate gray sheer top is genius.

4) Nicole Kidman in Antonio Berardi

I want this dresss! I love a little sparkle (we'll get to that in a minute), and this is such an unexpected way to do that.

5) Sarah Hyland in Marchesa

While I think she's a little young for this look (at 22 I would have gone with something more fun), it is really dreamy and romantic.

6) Jane Krakowski in Franco Kaufman

I love how these sequins make the dress look like it's made of a fine metal. The head-to-toe glitz is not overpowering, which is challenging to pull off.  

7) Sofia Vergara in Zuhair Murad

My favorite look of the evening. Sofia looks amazing, and this dress is a show-stopper.

Looks I Am Not Understanding:

1) Ariel Winter in Katharine Kidd dress and Brian Atwood shoes

I know prints are in, but what is going on here? The train is atrocious, the cut is unflattering, her hair is all wrong, and those shoes...ugh, they make her feet look ginormous!

2) Elisabeth Moss in Dolce & Gabbana

First of all, I find it interesting that "Mad Men" co-stars Elisabeth and January (below) traded hair colors. Bad move, ladies. Second of all, another hideous print. And the ruffles. And those shoes that I'm pretty sure I wore in 1995 when I represented my middle school in a public speaking contest (can't remember the subject of my speech, but I did say "hellish" and was really pleased that I got away with saying a bad word in front of adults). Elisabeth, your body is tiny and you're single now. Get with the program.

3) January Jones in Zac Posen

Not that anyone is suprised that January looks deranged at a classy event, but the hair makes me so sad. That mousy blonde is not working, and the slicked back/hairsprayed 'do is so disappointing. Some stylist is getting paid way too much.

4) Julianne Moore in Christian Dior

Julianne, you are not old enough to wear whatever you want and laugh about it on the red carpet! Lose the long sleeves, get a necklace if you're going to wear something that tight on top, and please do not ever wear this much yellow again.

5) Kerry Washington in Vivienne Westwood

Is it just me or does this look like something someone on my high school drill team would have worn to homecoming? This is what we call Glitter Gone Wrong. Granted, it's not terrible, but I feel like Kerry threw this on 10 minutes before the show. This is exacerbated with her sad, frizzy hairdo. Seriously, who are these people paying to do their hair?!

6) Lucy Liu in Versace

Not as bad as the previous glitter bomb, but only because Lucy is at least trying. The neckline is so weird, not to mention she basically looks like a disco queen going to war. I'm not feeling it.

7) Lena Dunham in something horrendous

Lena, we get it -- you're fat, tortured, and brilliant. Can we please move on? You're making a lot of money now, which means you don't have to be the ugly girl anymore. Stop hating yourself more than most people hate themselves (that's a direct quote), and please grow out your hair ASAP. I can't believe you chopped it off. UGH.

*Editor's Note: I am all about the unexpected heroine being a "normal" looking woman, but it's like Lena Dunham wants us to call her ugly. It's really starting to make me angry.

Things that Made Me Forget about How Much Lena Dunham is Annoying Me:

1) Edie Falco is 49.

2) Heid Klum's shoes.

3) Kevin Costner.

4) This tweet: @ jimmykimmel : Just opened a beer using Jon Hamm’s chin! #emmys

Style Me September: Week 1

Sep 11, 2012

As promised, I'm giving this fashion blogging thing another shot. I'm having trouble being creative with my wardrobe like I was in July. It's weird...I have way more fashion options in my new job, but somehow I feel less inclined to make a statement. I guess this is the difference between working in a giant federal building and a giant privately-owned one with a fountain and exotic artwork.

I have failed to do the Style Me challenge most days this month. August was extremely busy, and September has been worse. However, three times I succeeded:

Day 4: Made for Braids

Chambray Top: Forever 21
Necklace: Target
Shoes: Gap
Pants: LOFT
Hair: Braid Bun -- so easy. Twist on either side, braid what's leftover from the twists. Braid the rest of your hair (middle piece). Fashion each braid into little buns and pin. That's my spin on the tutorial I found. Here's the original (even prettier -- going to try to do the rope braid next time): 

Day 5: Gray or Grey

Jeans: LOFT
Correct spelling: Gray. "Grey" is for the British. I kind of hated this day because, despite gray being one of my favorite colors, I realized I had very few gray summer pieces in my wardrobe. I hope we get this challenge again in a couple of months when I can represent better.

Day 11: Pearls Please

Dress: NY&Co.
Blazer: Banana Republic
Pearls (faux): Forever 21
(I accidentally participated in the challenge today because I had to get dressed up for a visit to the Pentagon -- my first since I left. It was so weird being a visitor!)

As referenced a couple of posts ago, I had a huge fashion disaster my first week into my new job. A friend had taken me to dinner at Rosa Mexicano to celebrate the new gig, and unfortunately three days in I was already feeling ready to bid farewell to my blazer with dress/pencil skirt uniform, so I colorblocked and Ikatted all at once. The first thing my friend said was, "Isn't it a little soon to be dressing like that?" The second thing she said was, "Isn't that Mondo from 'Project Runway'?"


Obviously I marched right over to him and asked for a photo. He was busy figuring out his drinkie situation. I helped him, he thanked me, posed for a photo, and then engaged me in conversation for 20 more minutes. It ended with him GIVING ME HIS PHONE NUMBER. I did not ask for it, I swear. He voluntarily offered it up to me and told me to text him. I did. Three times. He did not text back. I'm honestly quite amazed that I didn't text him more or break down and call him.


You'll notice he's wearing toothpaste green and a belt with a steer and a heart on it -- plus cheetah print platform shoes, which you can't see -- and yet his outfit is totally awesome. Mine was not. And standing next to him I look like I weigh at least 100 pounds more than he does. (That might actually be true.)

The last time I was this disgusted with my clothes I happened to be in New York hanging out with Carol Hannah, also a "Project Runway" finalist. Why?!?!

So I'm back to my blazer and dress/pencil skirt routine...for the most part. Fall is coming soon, which means a style shift. Not sure I'm in love with the oxblood trend, but I can't wait to make the make the most of these... 

Hello lover.

My Fall TV Picks

Sep 4, 2012

One thing I love about my 30s is feeling zero guilt, shame or self-pity for watching so much TV. I love it. Jason Bateman, child TV star and adult comic genius, said once that he watched a ton of TV as a kid and turned out just fine. I, on the other hand, was not allowed to watch more than two hours a day as a kid, and, as you can see, I did not grow up to be famous, rich or married with two kids, as he did.

That's the thing about being in your 30s -- you are a bona fide grown-up. And because I had an *obviously* terrible childhood, I have a lot of catching up to do now that I'm calling all the shots. Also, I had a dream last night that my college ex, Stefan, -- who dumped me because he prefers Asian girls -- and I had reunited and become a modern day Bonnie & Clyde, except I chickened out and turned him into the cops. Of course I had to look him up on Facebook immediately, and sure enough, he has a bunch of photos of him with Asian girls all over his page. At least I know he wasn't lying. I shouldn't feel bad for getting dream revenge, right? Probably should be concerned that I'm dreaming about an ex from 12 years ago though...

Wait, what am I talking about? Oh yeah, TV. I think my point was that it's okay to watch a lot of TV if you don't have a boyfriend and decided to cancel your eHarmony subscription because, after an entire year of giving online love a shot, it's just not working. Moving on.

Holy moly, y'all, my fall lineup is sooooooooo good. I think we're getting back to a golden age, one like we haven't seen since the early- to mid-90s. (TGIF, "Friends," "ER," "Seinfeld," "Beverly Hills, 90210," "The X-Files," Hallmark Hall of Fame movies -- you know, all the good stuff before reality TV and the writers' strike ruined it all.)

Right now all I have is "Breaking Bad" (scratch that -- I didn't realize the last episode of this year was this past weekend...HANK KNOWS!!!) and "Project Runway," so I am PUMPED for fall this year. Here's what I'll be watching, in no particular order, except for the first one because I'm most excited about it:

The Mindy Project
Where: FOX
When: Tuesdays at 9:30 p.m., premieres September 25th
Why: Loved her on "The Office" (which will end after this season, and it's about time. Ricky Gervais was onto something when he ended the British version after two seasons), lurved her book and she tweeted back to me when I Twitter raved about how great this show is. She wrote "The Mindy Project" with the idea that the sidekick best friend in romantic comedies -- not the skinny blonde -- should be the main character, because she's the relatable one. I've watched the sneak preview pilot on Comcast On Demand three times already (watch online here). I haven't girl crushed this hard since "Bridget Jones's Diary."
Favorite Quote: "My body mass index is not great, but I'm not like Precious or anything, you know?"
Bonus Quote: Mindy: "I think he's Hugh Grant in About A Boy." Sidekick Skinny Blonde: "I think he's Hugh Grant in real life."

Once Upon A Time
Where: ABC
When: Sundays at 8 p.m., premieres September 30th
Why: All my favorite fairytale characters in one place and turned into real life people?! This is storytelling at its best. Yes, I said AT ITS BEST. Also love that the metaphorical knight in shining armor is a woman, even if she is a skinny blonde. SO EXCITED to see what new characters we get this season!!!


Favorite Quote: "You're their only hope." "Then they're all screwed."

New Girl
Where: FOX
When: Thursdays at 8:30 p.m., premieres September 25th
Why: In theory we should all girl hate Zooey Deschanel, with all her adorkableness and pretty bangs and velvety singing voice. But I think we all secretly want to be her a little bit. Plus, the guys on "New Girl" crack me up and make me wish -- for 30 minutes, once a week -- that I live with guys. Especially Fat Schmidt.

Favorite Quote: "I know you probably think cupcakes are totally lame. I know I do. So if you could do me a solid and take care of these extras." (Jess sucking up to her landlord, trying to get him to fix stuff in the apartment)

Up All Night
Where: NBC
When: Thursdays at 8:30 p.m., (premiere unconfirmed, possibly September 20th) (UPDATE: My guess was correct!)
Why: This show did not get enough props last season. Christina Applegate, Will Arnett and Maya Rudolph starring together with an adorable little baby girl? Are you kidding me?! They are so funny, endearing, smart...and that kid is super cute. I hope this is what my life will look like when I have a baby. Please watch so NBC doesn't cancel it.
Favorite Quote: "I just did a solo Target experience. It's actually a pretty eclectic crowd."

30 Rock
Where: NBC
When: Thursdays at 8 p.m., premieres October 4th
Why: Liz Lemon is my generation's Lucy Arnez. Tina Fey and the whole TGS crowd make some of the funniest TV we've seen in years. This show helped save NBC comedy, and while it's got some stiff competition now, it's hangin' in there.  But for the record, Stone Mountain, Georgia, is not full of Kenneths. More like Toofers.
Favorite Quote: "Woohoo! Another successful interaction with a man!"
Bonus Quote: "I'm not racist. Every night when I ride the subway home I'm terrified of all those teenage people." (Metro youths...*shudder*)

Parks and Recreation
Where: NBC
When: Thursdays at 9:30 p.m., premieres September 20th
Why: Amy Poehler is runner-up for funniest lady on TV, plus Ron Swanson's mustache is awesome. And who could forget Treat Yo Self? I know they're making fun of government, but Leslie Knope inspires me to run for office someday. I'm not kidding.
Favorite Quote: "Oh Ann, I always forget that because you're so pretty you're not used to rejection."

The League
Where: FX
When: I don't know, but I'm putting it in the mix on good faith that it will be soon. (UPDATED: Premiering Thursday, October 11 at 10 p.m. WOO!!!!)
Why: "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" got a little too out there, and this is what I imagine true bromances are like. Ladies love it because the sole female character is better at Fantasy Football than any of the guys. Watch with caution, though. It's FX, so anything goes. You will be yourself because you think the show is so funny.
Favorite Quote: "I'm going to tweet your face."

The X Factor
Where: FOX
When: Wednesdays and Thursdays at 8 p.m., premieres September 12th
Why: Britney Spears is hosting, so this is really a no-brainer.
Favorite Quote: TBD!!! Especially looking forward to when people sing her songs.

The Walking Dead
Where: AMC
When: Sundays (TBD on time), premieres October 14th
Why: I'm a closet zombie lover, and it's filmed in my home state of Georgia, which, unlike Honey Boo Boo Child (I can't, y'all, I just can't), does not reflect badly upon Georgia, except for the whole zombies-taking-it-over thing. You know what I mean. I can't believe they killed off Shane -- twice -- but I'm really interested in the hooded zombie torturer, who we all now know is a woman. Girl power all up in this fall TV season! Props to the actors for not faking the stereotypical "southern" accent. Theirs sound almost authentic.
Favorite Quote: "I'm the one black guy. You realize how precarious that makes my situation?"

I think Jason Bateman would be proud, don't you? (New "Arrested Development" episodes next year!!!)