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Hitting the Reset Button on 2012

Jan 25, 2012

Getting dumped hurts, but what's worse is all the time you spend trying to figure out why it happened. And when your heart is involved, all logic basically goes out the window. Reading "He's Just Not That Into You" years ago revolutionized my life, and I ticked off several friends with this rationalization while they were going through break-ups. I get why now -- that answer isn't good enough when you feel like you invested your time, money, heart and energy into making something work. So you dissect the relationship and look for clues to solve The Mystery of the Disappearing Boyfriend.

By Monday night I'd had enough. I found myself asking the same questions over and over, and I began to fear that I would keep going in circles for months and ruin my new beginning that is 2012. I can't change the way I feel, but I can ignore it. I have more important things to focus on, right? I'm 30 years old, for goodness sake. I don't have time to mourn a guy. But my pep inner monologue wasn't quite doing the trick.

Then, last night, I was reading an old issue of Glamour, and I came across an article Mindy Kaling contributed about dating men vs. boys. Here's the excerpt that hit home:

Until I was 30, I dated only boys. I'll tell you why: Men scared the s*** out of me. Men know   what they want. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn't on the floor. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they're thinking of kissing you. Men wear cothes that have never been worn by anyone else before....Men know what they want, and that is scary. 

Boys are adorable. Boys trail off their sentences in an appealing way. Boys get haircuts from their roommate, who "totally knows how to cut hair." Boys can pack up their whole life and move to Brooklyn for a gig if they need to. Boys have "gigs." Boys are broke. And when they do have money, they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival. Boys can talk for hours with you in a diner at three in the morning because they don't have regular work hours. But they suck to date when you turn 30....

[Men aren't] afraid of commitment....I'm not talking about commitment to romantic relationships. I'm talking about commitment to things--houses, jobs, neighborhoods. Paying a mortgage. When men hear women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that's not it. It's a commitment to not floating around anymore.

There was my answer. Mystery solved.

So I've decided to hit the reset button on 2012. 

My Reset Button

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you recognize the genius that is Mindy Kaling. I could read that piece over and over again. Thanks for posting it.