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The Skincare Your (my) Doctor (med school intern) Won't Tell You About

Oct 25, 2010

Growing up in a home remedies household, I'm not used to going to the doctor for everything that's wrong with me.  But what I've learned since I moved away from my parents is I am not that great at taking care of myself.  These things coupled equals when I do go to the doctor I usually have a list of things to talk to him about. 

My last visit was particularly embarrassing.  My sprained ankle from June was still hurting, my back hurt from walking funny from the sprained ankle, I was getting migraines due to my tense back, overloading on Advil was making my stomach hurt (or so I suspected), I was breaking out terribly, due to stress from all of the above (yet another self-diagnosis), and I was coughing a lot, probably from allergies (I should totally be a doctor).  Oh, and I wanted a prescription for Latisse since I recently pulled out my falsies and now my eyelash situation is quite pitiful. 

My usual doctor did not come to evaluate me. Instead a handsome intern came in, smiled as I read off my list of ailments (I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget any), cut me off before I could request Latisse, complimented me on my toenail polish when he examined my ankle (pretty sure he was lying since I was way due for a new pedi), and told me to switch shampoos to take care of the breakouts.

"I don't think it's the shampoo," I told him, because obviously I am smarter than he.

Yet he offered no other advice, presumably because he thinks he's smarter than I. 

A few minutes later I heard his voice outside the door: "SEVEN. THINGS. She had SEVEN. THINGS." 

Hrm. Suddenly Handsome Intern wasn't so handsome.

My doctor walked in soon after. "So, you've got a lot going on today, huh?"


I left with a prescription for physical therapy, an inhaler, and Latisse, even though no one in the office had heard of it, and the checkout lady told me, "Don't come callin' here if the pharmacy don't know what this is, 'cause we got nothin' to tell 'em!" 

Doesn't anyone else watch TV?  Brooke Shields is dancing all over the place with her fabulous lashes!

But with nothing but change in shampoo to fix my skin, I was at a loss.  I switched shampoos and it just got worse.  I used astringent and my skin got so dry I couldn't even put on moisturizer without it burning.  I tried several face masks but the difference afterwards was negligible. 

Then the Roomie took notice.  "Have you tried Head & Shoulders?"

"No, I don't have a dandruff problem."

"No, but the ingredient in Head & Shoulders that cures dandruff is zinc, and it will heal your skin without drying it out.  I've been using it as body wash for years."

Sure enough, a couple of days after washing with Head & Shoulders the breakouts began clearing up!  And a giant bottle of it is only around $5, sure to last me for a couple of months. 

Plus, I just became even smarter than that annoying med student.


  1. I might have to get Head & Shoulders shampoo and conditioner once my current shampoo and conditioner is out!

  2. This is hilarious. I would have made a total scene after the snarky intern's comment.

  3. So funny! Meanwhile, I recently switched conditioner and I wonder if that's why my head has turned into a giant zit! I'm totally going to try your advice.

    Hooray for (non)doctors!