So apparently this is how I deal with a break-up:
Step 1: Call him to see how's he's doing. Start crying after he says "fine" then asks how I am doing. Hang up immediately.
Step 2: Go to dinner with a friend at an expensive restaurant, only to find she has also broken up with her boyfriend. Spend dinner fighting back tears and telling one another we are fabulous.
Step 3: Go to dinner with another friend at the restaurant he loved the best. Sit at the bar and make friends with the bartender. Tell bartender whole story. Bartender feels bad for me and offers free drinks. Bartender suggests I text him. I text him. He makes fun of me and immediately accuses me of being drunk -- WHICH I WASN'T (I know my limits, okay?!).
Step 4: Go to dinner with another single friend and discuss birthing options (since my sister and her cousin just had babies). Decide either your stomach or the other part of you being ripped apart is not for us and since 30 is the recommended age to freeze your eggs we should just do that and have a surrogate. Unfortunately I haven't been preparing financially for this, so I resign myself to the fact I will be childless.
Step 5: Go back to the restaurant with the Bartender and update Bartender on the situation. Bartender recommends deleting him from my phone immediately. I do not heed Bartender's recommendation. Later take a text from him as an invitation to call. He tells me, while it's good to talk to me, he has moved on and is not interested. Hang up immediately.
Step 6: Go to baseball game with friends to get mind off of situation. Instead end up talking about situation entire night. Does not make me feel better.
Step 6: Organize girls' night, as it is exactly one week since break-up and I SHOULD BE OVER THIS ALREADY!!!
That's all I got.
Seriously, I haven't handled a break-up this poorly since I was 19. I think some speed dating is order. Self-reflecting will only make this worse, so I'm gonna go ahead and skip that.
At least I have clean hair. That's positive, right?